i think it is a good thing, no?

a story from jean: when i was young, when the weather was good and we had rain, there was food everywhere. you could just go to a field and see beans everywhere. there were bananas on trees all over that were so ripe the birds were eating them. now, there are too many people and not enough food. people must work all day to find so they can eat and if they don't, they do not eat. i think this is a good thing, no?...

i want to ruhengeri in the north, where they have volcanos, for a camp. the orphans there spent 2 hours talking about how they hate their holidays because they cannot find food. one tried to kill herself 3 times. another boy stayed at school and shared food with the watchman. another hadn't eaten in 2 days. after the stories we went inside to eat lunch. this cosisted of rolls, somosas and soda. i didn't eat. i gave my food to the orphans that hadn't eaten in a couple of days. now they can eat today too. by the time dinner was served at 10:30 i was so hungry that i wasn't hungry anymore. my stomach was too tired to growl.

tonight we have company - the parents of a British girl who is in Rwanda for 6 months. that means lots of food at dinner and it won't be late. this is a good thing.

there is a boy at solace who is the only survivor out of 127 people thrown into a hole. he is going crazy now. he has slept at solace for 3 days instead of going home. he always looks like he is in pain and grabs his head. he goes between whimpering, screaming and crying. i don't know what to do. i would like to bring him to the mental hospital in the city but i hear they chain people up and treat them horribly. most of the surveys i have gotten back show that orphans don't blame their neighbors for what has happened to them. that would seem to show that they are adjusting well...and then i meet boys like this. i wish i had more than 3 weeks to figure this all out.